“Do you go around WIPING LIONS?”
My new favourite game; taking my brother’s quotes out of context.
There was barely any people at the restaurant, so my boss made me clean the bar.
I’m sitting on the ground, wiping underneath the bar and my boss comes over to use the computer and looks at me and says (try and imagine this with a Portuguese accent);
“You’re good at cleaning. You’ll make a good housewife.”
“Only because I’m being paid to clean…”
“Oh… Are you any good at cooking?”
(Source: snowinoureyes)
Got woken up at 5.30am this morning to the blasting of Star Trek. I got out of bed to raise hell.
My fucking derpy cat is sitting on the remote and had turned on the tv with his ass.
“And, ooh. I just love having milk in my belly button.”
Reasons why you shouldn’t eat or drink shirtless, that my brother has discovered the hard way.
I miss this beautiful city.
Jack Andraka, 15, of Crownsville, Md. was awarded first place for his new method to detect pancreatic cancer at this year’s Intel International Science and Engineering Fair (Intel ISEF).
His study resulted in over 90 percent accuracy and showed his patent-pending sensor to be 28 times faster, 28 times less expensive and over 100 times more sensitive than current tests.
Game of Thrones Theme
I was totally just remembered that Mitch Hedberg joke about turtlenecks;
“Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy. All damn day. Like if you wear a turtleneck and a backpack, it’s like a weak midget trying to bring you down.”
I should be ashamed, but I’m not. At all. I love this song. I sing it all the time.
I’m just confused to why Harry is wearing a turtle neck. Who wears turtle necks?
The number of Tumblr crushes I have is getting out of control.
I’m sitting there all like ‘I love this person. We could be great friends. I need to get some real life friends.’
Then I remember I don’t like to meet new people and I go back on reddit.
